Please, God, use super glue...

Yesterday morning we made the mistake of letting our 5 yo pick where to sit in church. He, of course, headed straight down front, and plopped down in front of some friends of ours. Our 2 yo immediately headed to their bench, which at the time I thought was a great idea. A little peace and quiet for me, a little fun for him.

Then the children's director invited all the kids to come forward for the children's story. I immediately heard my friend ask my 2 year old if he wanted to go down front with her daughter. He, of course, said yes, while I took a moment to hyperventilate.

In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not a "spur of the moment" kind of mom. We had never, up to that point, put him on display in front of the entire church of 500 to see how he would handle the children's story. And there he was, walking up to the stage without one "you sit still," "you stay with your brother," "you listen to the story," "you can't touch the drums," or "don't jump off the stage" preparatory lecture.

I eased my way to the front row -- just in case -- praying, "Please, God, super glue him to the stage."

The children's director started the story about the day her son's favorite basketball got lost. My child screamed out, "We have toys at our house!"

Then I prayed, "Please, God, super glue his mouth shut."

Apparently God was only taking one request at a time because he stopped talking, but soon began sliding ever so slowly backwards toward the drums. Then more sliding. And more. My 5 yo, who was sitting beside him, looked at me with big "what do I do?" eyes. I motioned for him to go get him, knowing that within seconds I was going to have to plow through 35 kids and tackle my screaming 2 yo who wanted to go to the drums and wasn't going to let his brother stop him.

Miracle of all miracles, the 2 yo stopped and slid back up into his spot next to his brother. Just in time to hear the end of the story - that they found the basketball in the microwave.

"IN THE MICROWAVE???" my child YELLED out, because he only has two volumes - sleeping and REALLY, REALLY LOUD.

Finally, the children's story was over. I was a little mortified, but honestly, I was laughing so hard I could hardly stop. He thought it was great. I think his next children's story will be when he's 12.