Dear 2 year old son,

I've deemed it necessary to write you this formal letter because apparently no matter what I say or do, you are not understanding this most important concept: YOU ARE NOT FINISHED TAKING NAPS YET. Please take a few moments to process this information, and note that this is not a choice, this is your mother stating a fact, plain and simple. Please read through the entire document and sign on the dotted line.

I know you think it's funny when you are so quiet in your room that I think you are asleep, only you are running a three ring circus, complete with all the stuffed animals, right there in your bed. Or when you decide that every train that you own should drive through your covers. That killer ornery grin may be cute, but it's still not funny.

You know what else isn't funny? The way you go to sleep for daddy when all he does is tell you to close your eyes. I clocked it at 1.4 minutes. So from now on, that's all the time you have to be awake after I lay you down.

And don't even think about coming out of your room to see if you can 'wake up yet'. You tried that once, remember? If you recall, it didn't go so well. So scoot your body back into bed and GO TO SLEEP.

And no, you may not have another drink, and no, I will not turn your fan off, I just turned it on, and no, you may not sleep with your fire truck, and no, there will be no thunder today, and no, there won't be lightening either, and I will only leave your door open if you will GO TO SLEEP.

And don't think I can't hear you when you lay on your bed and bang your feet against the wall. Oh, I can hear you, I'm just too busy banging my head against the wall to do anything about it.

Just sign.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
I, the precious 2 year old in this family, vow to sleep at least two hours every afternoon until I turn 6.


Love you,
Mom