Choices

I just got done reading this blog. This girl is an amazing 18 year old. Anyone who has been touched by adoption in any way should take a minute to read it. On second thought, even if you don't know one single adopted person, read it anyway.


At one point in my life, several years ago, I also had my own thoughts and opinions about women who chose to give their baby away. It seemed so heartless and selfish and.....unimaginable. But it didn't take me long to realize what a selfless, amazing act of love it really can be.


I'll be honest, most days I don't even think about the fact that one of my children is adopted. He is such a part of me, such a part of our family, that it doesn't even seem possible that he is not actually blood-related.


Then on other days, such as yesterday when I read that post, the memories become fresh again of our first-hand experience of being the recipient of that kind of love. The kind of love that can endure 10 hours of labor and still choose to let someone else take the baby home. The kind of love that can hold and feed him and still follow her heart about what is best for the child. The kind of love that can stand in the parking lot and watch strangers walk away with her own flesh and blood.

I cannot comprehend what that feels like, but I imagine it somewhat resembles open heart surgery with no anesthesia. How God can heal that kind of pain, I do not know, but I pray that if there can be any comfort for birthmothers, it is in the fact that families longing to love those babies are miraculously pieced together in the process.

For her, it was most likely the hardest decision she ever had to make. For us, it was an answer to prayer. For her, it was giving up the life she had a part in creating. For us, it was welcoming new life into our family. For her, it was somewhat of a nightmare. For us, it was the fulfillment of dreams.

I am not able to wrap my mind around how that all works together and comes out okay in the end. I cannot begin to count the number of times someone has said to me, "I just can't believe she gave him up." I understand what people are meaning when they say this, but my answer usually surprises them.

"I can't imagine what my life would be like if she hadn't."