Happy Birthday!

Happy 6th Birthday, buddy!

I don't know why, but six feels so OLD. Maybe it's because the baby face is all gone now, maybe it's because you're in school, maybe it's because you being six makes ME feel old. Or maybe it's just because of the the many changes that have happened in the past year.

Since you turned five...

• You have started kindergarten.
• You have played in real "team" sports like soccer and t-ball (that I had to dip into my retirement fund to pay for...).
• You have lost your first four teeth.
• You are READING!
• You gave up your precious "hand blanket" (and by 'gave up' I mean accidentally left it at grandma's for an undetermined amount of time).
• You learned to ride your bike without training wheels.
• You have learned how to play the wii.
• You were diagnosed with more allergies than we ever wanted to know about.
• You learned to tie your shoes.
• You slept in a tent outside (well, inside too, but that doesn't really count) for the entire night.
• You caught your first fish.
• You vacationed in Chicago.
• You drove grandpa's boat for the first time.

I'm sure there are others, but wow, what a year! Happy Birthday!

Breakfast Conversation

5 yo: (to little brother): What do you want to be when you grow up?

2 yo: Superman!

5 yo: I thought you wanted to be a firefighter like daddy.

2 yo: I want to be a firefighter.

5 yo: You want to be Superman and a firefighter? 'Cause I think you could do that. He could, right mom? 'Cause Superman could put out fires.

2 yo: No, I want to be cinnamon toast.

5 yo: What?!

2 yo: When I grow up, I want to be cinnamon toast. No, I want to be paper.

5 yo: (laughing uncontrollably) You can't be paper! What do you want to be when you get bigger?

2 yo: Butter! I want to be butter!

5 yo: (a bit exasperated) Mmoooommmmm....

A New Era

It's time to face it, the kids are growing up. My son used to beg for farm animals and tractors, then we hit the Bob the Builder phase, and after that everything had to be Cars. Now we've entered a new era...

GUITAR HERO.

Our household of four recently expanded into a family of five. It's nice to actually have another female in the house, and the boys are feeling as if they have a new sister. Imagine their excitement when, along with all the boxes, and a new person in the house, Guitar Hero arrived.

Not that they had a clue what it was before she came. Nevermind the fact that their hands aren't big enough to run the colored buttons, let alone coordinate the right hand with left. They'll just play four-handed.


Or five-handed. The more the merrier.

And when the game gets too hard, which happened in about 2.6 seconds, just dance!

Please, God, use super glue...

Yesterday morning we made the mistake of letting our 5 yo pick where to sit in church. He, of course, headed straight down front, and plopped down in front of some friends of ours. Our 2 yo immediately headed to their bench, which at the time I thought was a great idea. A little peace and quiet for me, a little fun for him.

Then the children's director invited all the kids to come forward for the children's story. I immediately heard my friend ask my 2 year old if he wanted to go down front with her daughter. He, of course, said yes, while I took a moment to hyperventilate.

In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not a "spur of the moment" kind of mom. We had never, up to that point, put him on display in front of the entire church of 500 to see how he would handle the children's story. And there he was, walking up to the stage without one "you sit still," "you stay with your brother," "you listen to the story," "you can't touch the drums," or "don't jump off the stage" preparatory lecture.

I eased my way to the front row -- just in case -- praying, "Please, God, super glue him to the stage."

The children's director started the story about the day her son's favorite basketball got lost. My child screamed out, "We have toys at our house!"

Then I prayed, "Please, God, super glue his mouth shut."

Apparently God was only taking one request at a time because he stopped talking, but soon began sliding ever so slowly backwards toward the drums. Then more sliding. And more. My 5 yo, who was sitting beside him, looked at me with big "what do I do?" eyes. I motioned for him to go get him, knowing that within seconds I was going to have to plow through 35 kids and tackle my screaming 2 yo who wanted to go to the drums and wasn't going to let his brother stop him.

Miracle of all miracles, the 2 yo stopped and slid back up into his spot next to his brother. Just in time to hear the end of the story - that they found the basketball in the microwave.

"IN THE MICROWAVE???" my child YELLED out, because he only has two volumes - sleeping and REALLY, REALLY LOUD.

Finally, the children's story was over. I was a little mortified, but honestly, I was laughing so hard I could hardly stop. He thought it was great. I think his next children's story will be when he's 12.

Breathe

I just had a moment of panic. Scratch that. I completely freaked out.

My 2 yo was out back in the sandbox, safely surrounded by a fence. My 5 yo was in the front yard shooting baskets.

All of the sudden I heard a horrible noise. A noise that sounded like a mixture of the neighbor's big black dogs barking and a little kid crying and moaning.

I raced to the front yard. No son.

I screamed his name. No answer.

I race to the back yard. I could breathe again.

There he was working on the fence latch. Turns out the fence latch is really hard for him to operate. It takes a long time for him to loosen it, open it, and tighten it back up again. And from inside the house it sounds like a screamin' banshee.

So Far...Practical

7:00-8:30 - Work on Lesson Plans.

8:30 - Talk mom into going on a quick run to Walmart and Target run with me. One adult for each child is my kind of trip -- well, if the kids HAVE to go.

8:30-9:30 - Shower, feed the kids, get everyone ready, gather the stuff to take back, run out the door.

9:30-11:30 - Hit Target, Walmart, and JCPenney. Endured 2 yo screaming every time we left the toy aisle. Took back shoes (both places), bought three birthday presents, tried on two outfits and decided against both of them. My husband will be so proud.

11:30 - Receive call from my boss in KC at teacher convention. He has job-altering news about our accreditation process that we have already started. I'll spare you the details, but the result is WAY MORE WORK for me.

11:45-12:45 - Lunch at Chili's. Thanks mom!

1:30 - Back home, carry sleeping 2 yo to bed, unload van.

1:45-2:15 - Clean out my closet while playing checkers with the 5 yo. I love multi-tasking. The 5 yo doesn't think it's so great.

2:15 - Hear the 2 yo screaming "Poop, mama, I have poop here!" That is NEVER good. Those words cause me to run so fast I usually pull a muscle. It means he has pooped in his bed...or grandma's bed...or on the floor...or wherever he happens to be. I found him standing up on his bed with his pull-up and jeans around his ankles. Thank God he had jeans on - at least it was all contained this time.

2:30 - Finish checkers and closet. Get out Moon Sand for the kids. Remember that it is called moon sand for a reason -- that's exactly where that stuff should stay. When toy makers produce something called "House Sand", I'll reevaluate my opinion.

2:30-3:30 - Put away laundry, sweep up moon sand, and receive another call from my boss. Sweep up more moon sand.

3:30 - Retreat to the computer for some "me time." Can't figure out what to write about, so I evaluate my day. Get a little depressed and post anyway.

Practical and Productive OR Laidback and Lazy?

I was supposed to be leaving right now for Teacher Convention in Kansas City. I was looking forward to two nights and two days of hanging out with my colleagues, eating good food, and soaking up enough educational creativity to conquer any dilemma I may face in the classroom.


Instead I have a sick husband, an iffy child who can't stop sneezing, and hours of sleep that were robbed mercilessly from me last night. Those three variables were enough to make me put my suitcase back in the closet and stay home.

Who am I kidding, the suitcase never made it out of the closet, but that's beside the point.

Now I have two days staring me in the face with absolutely no plans...other than taking care of my children, of course. So in ALL that spare time that I'm sure I will have, I have a few decisions to make. How might I spend these days?

Practical or Lazy?

I have a 'to do' list longer than any child's wish list for Santa Claus. I could clean out closets, go through the kids' winter clothes, dust, wade through the utility room, update the budget...and on and on it goes. But want I really want to do is waste away the entire two days, because, really, I wasn't going to get anything done anyway while being gone, right? I could sleep in (until my son wakes me up at SEVEN since he doesn't have school), watch movies (kid appropriate? nah...), read a book (and listen to the kids fight in the background), go shopping (with two in tow...).

It's crystal clear to me now. I should have never told grandma about the change in plans.