What I've Gained

As I am wrapping up my journey of going back to school (I am attempting to finish my last two reflection papers in the next couple of days), I have spent a little time this week reflecting on the process and all that I have gained.

I was astonished at the list.

I have gained...a new appreciation for full-time working moms.  Also for working moms who are going to school.  Not to say that all other types of "mom-work" are not difficult.  I have done about every combination, and the truth is, they all present their own challenges.

Staying at home full-time = stinkin' hard.  It's a different kind of energy drain.

Working part-time, staying home part-time = stinkin' hard.  Possibly because there is no such thing as "part-time" in the field of education.

Working full-time = stinkin' hard.  A new kind of exhausting.

Remember me?  I was always the perpetual "grass is always greener on the other side" person when it came to working vs. staying home.  Just read my 'About Me'.

I have also gained...an even greater appreciation for my husband.  He is more than ready for me to be done with school, but he has been amazing along the way.

I have gained...a new respect for school administrators across the country.  Public school or private school, big city or small town, it is just not an easy job.  There are some incredible people out there changing lives in what is typically a thankless job.  I completely get that there are also some not-so-great admins out there as well, but I will say that my program has given me a new understanding of what it takes and what administrators go through.

I have gained...a renewed desire to be an even better mother to my children.  Unfortunately, they have had to put up with a tired mom who has had less patience than normal.  Many people have asked me what I am going to do "now that I will have my degree" - as in, will I be changing titles, changing jobs, or moving on to something different?  At this very moment, however, I would really like to just be able to spend more time with my family.

I have gained...a new appreciation for friendships.  Mostly because this is the area of my life that has taken a huge hit.  I have not been a good friend during this process.   I'm not sure I realized it at first, but unfortunately, somewhere along the way my world started revolving around me.  I'm not proud of it, and hope to turn that around soon.

Unfortunately, I have also gained....too many pounds.  Call it stress.  Call it a lack of focus.  Call it what you want, it makes me mad.

As a result, I have gained...a renewed appreciation for being healthy.  Six years ago I dropped about 50 pounds. When I was eating right and exercising, I felt the best I have ever felt.  My current lifestyle is almost the complete opposite, and I can tell.  I'm tired. Worn out. Not sleeping as well.  It really does make a difference.

Finally, I have gained...a deeper desire to find God's will for my life.  I'll admit, life has been so busy that I spend many of my days running around focusing on self, trying to fix things myself, making decisions by myself, basically wearing myself out.  I am continually forgetting Whose I am, Who makes the plan, and Who I serve.  In all of these things -- family, friendships, job, and health -- I really only want what He wants.  It's high time I spend more time with Him to fully understand what that plan is.

I am thankful.

I have gained much.

Too much in some circumstances.

But it was still worth it.