My Theories:

1) Cover your mouth when you cough.

2) Cover your mouth when you sneeze.

3) Wash your hands as much as possible.

4) Please always use a Kleenex.

5) If you have to develop a fever, please do so only at home, and when we have not been anywhere else for over 24 hours.

6) If you must vomit, only do so at home, in a bowl, trashcan, or even better, the toilet.



My son's theories:

1) Holding your hand (or any body part) up in the air within 18 inches of your mouth counts as "covering your mouth".

2) Covering your mouth when you sneeze just gets your hand or arm gross, so it's better to sneeze wild and free.

3) Wash your hands only when mom tells you to.

4) The back of your hand, arm, or shirt works better than a Kleenex, and it's always available.

5) When developing a fever, do so immediately following contact with at least 35 innocent kids. And make sure at least one of them was under 12 months old.

6) The best place to vomit is at church, 20 miles from home, soaking clothes, and the favorite Webkinz.

I'm thinking since God is all-knowing, He could have preprogrammed my children to be a bit more connected to my theories.