Sometimes It Just Takes A Little...

....kick in the pants.

I am in a new Bible Study this summer.

It is hittin' me right where it hurts.

When I heard about this Bible study, I was torn.  I knew the leaders would be good.  I knew several friends who were going to do it.  I knew I probably SHOULD be there.  My brain kept saying, "I cannot do one more thing." 

I went anyway. 

I should have known by the title that this was going to be ugly.

"EXTREME SPIRITUAL MAKEOVER: HEART EDITION."

That part sounded okay.  It was the sub-title that made me cringe.

"Reflecting the Heart of Christ in My Priorities."

Ugh.

I always have good intentions.  I know in my mind what my priorities are.  However, sometimes (often) I get way too caught up in things I love to do -- both on and off the job -- and I over-commit.  They are not bad things, most are even areas of ministry, but it's often too much.

So the Bible Study started something like this:

Priority #1 - A Heart Consumed with God

This sounded like a good place to start.  I honestly thought this section might be somewhat of a "review".

And then I started hearing things like...
*We assume too easily that we know God or love God.
*Do you love God more than you want your next breath?
*What does God see when He looks at my heart?
*Life is not all about me; it is about HIM. 
*Do I live like I know Him personally or like I know about Him distantly?
*Do I enjoy God, or do I do things just out of duty?

And that was just the first week. 

Next we ventured into Priority #2 - A Heart Prepared to Serve

Let's just say this one hurt a little bit, too.  I can sum it up pretty well with this quote from the study, "We plan our lives around the world and not around God, and wonder why our lives are mediocre."

I thought Priority #3 would give me a little reprieve.  It was "A Heart Devoted to My Husband".  I have no idea why I received such a blessing in this area, but my husband is amazing.  I was ready to coast for awhile...

...and then the subject of self-denial was presented.  Human beings as a whole (or at least Americans) struggle with this concept, and I am no exception.  John McArthur wrote a great piece on self-denial, but this sentence pretty much sums it up...."When you are content with any food, any offering, any clothes, any climate, any solitude, any society, any interruption by the will of God---That is dying to self."

O.K.A.Y.

And then there was today.

Priority #4:  A Heart Devoted to My Children.

I have pages of notes about the important role we play in the spiritual nurturing in our children's lives. 

It was all good stuff to think about.

More than "think about", it was all good stuff to be intentional about doing.

I left overwhelmed.

And rethinking my priorities.

Again.

I Will Never Let Him Forget This

Every now and then my kids say something that just makes me LAUGH. 

Today's conversation had to be put into writing.

Not because it is funny, but because I need it documented so I can remind my son of this next month.

And next year.

And when he is 8, 11, 12, 15, 18....

I pulled into the gas station and got out to put fuel in the car.  I was almost done when my oldest son opened his door and said, "It's getting really hot in here."  He did not realized I was finishing right when he said that.

I got right into the car and turned the car on.

He started screaming, "Don't do that! You can't do that!  There is gas pumping into the car!"

I was thankful that he knew this little fact of life, and quickly explained that I was done filling up and that I did not start the car while putting in fuel. 

Then I heard the little guy in the back seat.  "That would have been a dumb decision."

I did not disagree.  "Yes," I said, "that would have been a dumb decision."

Then I heard him whisper (I do not know why he was whispering...), "Parents don't make dumb decisions."

I laughed (to myself, of course), and replied, "You don't think parents make dumb decisions, huh?"

To which  my 6 year old proclaimed, "For a parent to make a dumb decision would be highly unlikely."

Can we just FREEZE TIME??

Brainwashing is a beautiful thing.

Still More Evidence That We Are Not Pet People

Three years ago we got a dog.

Or more like, the dog showed up on our porch and wouldn't leave.

If you need the full version of the story, click here.

The short version is this:

We adopted the dog.

The kids begged and begged to have her.

We decided it would be a good idea for them to have a pet and learn some responsibility.

We fed her every day. 

The kids played with her.  The adults tried.

She tolerated me.  She hated my husband.

The responsibility thing went out of the window.  My husband did everything for her to try to teach her that he was not going to hurt her.

It did not work.

This summer she started acting weird.  She started nipping at my kids and just wasn't acting "normal" (well, for her anyway). 

Taking her to the vet wasn't an option because she wouldn't let any adult close enough to her to actually get her into a vehicle.  We tried a couple of times.  It would have made a very comical video.

She used to allow this.

Not anymore.  She was even strange with the kids. 

We called the vet to ask for some advice.  All things considered -- acting weird, not current on shots, etc., etc. -- they said we were probably going to have to put her down as a safety factor for the kids.  We had a feeling this is what they would say.

This was right before vacation. 

This may be terrible, horrible parenting, but we decided to go ahead and let my FIL put her down while we were gone.  We didn't tell the kids.  We honestly did not even think about letting them tell her "goodbye". 

I may have mentioned once or twice that we are not really "pet people". 

On vacation, we discussed what the best way would be to tell the kids.  After thinking about it, my husband said, "Actually, I want to wait and see how long it takes them to notice that she is gone."

I am sure this advice can not be found in any sane parenting book. 

Here's the deal.

We have been home for a week.

168 hours.

They have not said ONE WORD.

How is it possible that they do not notice that the dog is gone? 

Granted, she didn't live inside or anything, but really?? 

I am in awe of this mystery.  Every day I want to shout out, "have you noticed anything missing around here?!" 

Maybe tomorrow.

"40" Revisited

Once I returned from our vacation, I realized that I let my birthday come and go this year without revisiting my "40 before 40" list. 

I am two years into this little project, and NOT.EVEN.CLOSE to 2/5 of the way complete.  I am going to blame this on the fact that last summer I went back to work full time and I started my master's degree.  Every time I say those words out loud (or type them on the computer) I realize how incredibly dumb that decision sounds. 

I won't deny it....it probably wasn't the best choice I have ever made to do both of those big changes at the same time.  However, I am now over half-way through, and I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.  I am hoping that soon I will look back and be able to say "that wasn't so bad".  No guarantees on that one.

Time to see where I am at on the infamous list....

1. Catch up on my kids' scrapbooks. {Last year I said I made progress.  This year that same comment would make me a liar.  Funny how every time I think I am catching up, those crazy kids just seem to keep getting older.}

2. Exercise faithfully. No more four weeks on, three weeks off. There is a reason no one markets that routine. {Yeah....nope.  Remember that 'working full time and getting my master's' thing?}

3. Go on vacation for an entire week with just my immediate family, and not because work sent us. {Ah hah - DONE!}

4. Read 5 classics recommended by my classic literature fanatic friend. {Shoot, now I have to read more than one per year.}

5. Go snow skiing for the 2nd time. The first time was okay, but everyone says you have to go a second time to really enjoy it. {Negative.}

6. Take my children to a professional football or baseball game. {DONE. Colorado Rockies vs. Chicago Cubs - July 2010.}

7. Visit at least half of the States. So far I think I've only been to 15. {I really, really thought our trip would knock this one out.  Turns out now I have been to 24 states, and that is only if you include Georgia since we landed in Atlanta on our way to England a few years ago.  I knew I should have made my husband take the long route and drive through the corner of Nevada last week....}

8. Develop and keep up a habit of drinking 6-8 glasses of water each day. {Not even close.}

9. Landscape - or better yet, hire someone - to landscape our front yard. {Instead, last summer's heat pretty much killed the whole thing off.  This summer isn't helping either.}

10. Begin and maintain a well-tended garden. {DONE!! Well-tended is relative.  We've had a garden for 2 years now, so I'm gonna call this one good.}

11. Go through the entire house, basement included, room by room, throw out junk, and organize everything. {Ha ha ha ha ha....}

12. Go to the Mall of America. {On the way home from Oregon, my boys were planning our next big vacation.  They want to go northeast next time and see what is the other direction.  We may have to venture to the mall on the way!}

13. Complete a family scrapbook - One that my husband and I actually appear in. {See note on #1.}

14. Read the Bible through in a year. I started this year, but at the rate I am going, I may hit the New Testament in 5 years.  {Did not even make this a goal this year, but at least I am in a great Bible study right now!}

15. See the Grand Canyon. {I am a little nervous that this one won't happen in the next three years considering the direction the rest of the family wants to travel next time.}

16. Get my Master's Degree. {Three classes and field experience left.}

17. Repaint all the walls in my house. {See post in near future about this little issue.}

18. Remember my friends' and family members' birthdays by sending cards, calling, or at least sending emails. {Not bad this year. If I'm desperate, I could say DONE!....That was last year, so I am just going to pretend that I did as well this year.}

19. Get new living room furniture.  {I have brought this up a few times to my dear hubby.  So far, no answer.  I'm thinking he thinks the little guy has not out-grown his destructo phase...which has pretty much been his whole life.}

20. Teach, by example, my kids to volunteer and think of others more. {This has not been a banner year for this one.}

21. Eat less sugar. {Or this one.}

22. Begin recycling and keep it up faithfully. {Still DONE!}

23. Relearn to play the piano well. {I have decided the easiest way to do this is to keep playing the songs my son plays as he progresses through each level. I have successfully mastered Level 2 (that was 2011)...... Unfortunate update on this one -- son has taken a 4 month break and thinks he wants to quit.  I have been showering him with articles about music lessons increasing your academic success and raising test scores.  He's pondering his next move.}

24. See Niagara Falls. {Planning for the future.}

25. Make a family recipe book. I come from a family, and married into a family, with slews of amazing cooks. It would be sad not to pretend that I like to cook and document all of their fabulous recipes.  {Haven't even thought about starting this one.}

26. Still be taking girls' weekends. {So far, so good.}

27. Lay on a beach. Since we love going to the lake, let me qualify this by saying a beach at the local reservoir does not count. I should not be able to see land on the other side of the water.  {CHECK!}

28. Write an adoption book for my son.  {Still trying to figure out the best way to do this.}

29. Have my entire wardrobe be in a single digit size for the first time since I was twelve years old.  {How many of these can I possibly blame on working on a degree??}

30. Go on a mission trip, preferably a family mission trip.  {Waiting til the boys are a bit older.}

31. Tell my kids everyday that I love them. {Unless I don't see or talk to them....}

32. Spend more time putting others before myself. {Uhhhh....ouch.}

33. Consistently do family devotions.  {I can honestly say we have done better this year.  We may not have reached "consistent", but we have improved.}

34. Visit my brother in Oregon.  {YEP!  Don't worry big brother, this list isn't the only reason we came to see you!} :-)

35. Lead a workshop at a Teacher Convention.  {Somebody please tell me why I put this one on here.}

36. Be able to run a 5K. {Not without dying.}

37. Try more food that ends with -ese....Chinese....Japanese..... {I've been to PF Changs twice, does that count?}

38. Spend an entire weekend at home without kids.  {Mom and dad....I'm gonna need your help here!}

39. Water ski for more than a minute without screaming. {First that nasty lake is going to have to clean up its blue-green algae issue.}

40. Practice saying "forty" so I don't pass out when the day arrives. {No, no, and NO!}


I'm doing pretty well!

If I were only 36.

Hmmmmph.

Friday Nights After 15 Years

After being married for 15 years, Friday nights aren't quite what they used to be.

I am looking around and finding it almost comical.

I am sitting in the recliner staring at my laptop.

My husband is sitting on the coach staring at his work laptop.  He is also texting and clearing contacts out of his phone.  We are laughing about the fact that he doesn't remember some of the people he has saved in his phone.

Small disclaimer here on the patheticness of this evening -- I am not feeling well.  I have a sore throat/cold that is hanging in the balance.  I could wake up feeling nearly perfectly normal tomorrow....or I will wake up SICK.  I am hoping for the former. 

That sad part is, I am not completely sure that this evening would look much different if I was feeling 100%.

The boys' twin cousins are over for the night tonight, and the boys are all entertaining themselves downstairs with basketball, air hockey, and wii games. 

We are sitting upstairs catching up budgets and working.

They are downstairs hollering and laughing.

We are upstairs yawning and going through the mail.

They are begging for more time to stay up and play.

We are counting the minutes until everyone goes to bed. 

They are fun and energetic.

We are....not.

Wanna come hang out??

A Big Dose of Reality

We arrived back home at 8:30 on Tuesday night.
The husband and I discussed whether or not to go back to work on Wednesday.  This was a bit of a point of contention for us.  We both had technically taken Wednesday off just in case we needed one more day for the long trip home.   He wanted to stay home to get some things done so he wouldn't feel so overwhelmed with all that there is to do.  I wanted to go to work to get some things done so I wouldn't feel so overwhelmed with all that there is to do. 

We ended up going back to work.  We both came home wondering why. 

It really was a good decision for me to go in and wade through what needed to be done.  However, it is  discouraging to come home with a longer to-do list than I went with. 

The laundry has overtaken what was once a wonderfully clean house.  The piles of clean laundry are lining up for battle with the piles of dirty laundry, but currently I have no idea which side is winning.

Speaking of a clean house, I am convinced that the only way to keep the house clean is to not live in it.

The kids are fighting unmercifully.  I really should be thankful that they were amazing on the entire trip, but at this moment, they are doing a great job of blotting out those memories.

By the end of our trip, we had eaten at so many restaurants that I put a "ban" on eating out and junk food.  This seemed like a great idea while watching my kids eat their last vacation meal of unhealthy food.  Now this means grocery shopping, menu planning, and cooking.  As much as I got tired of eating out, I never got tired of not cooking!  It has taken me most of the morning just to figure out how to restock this house.

Now that I have spent half my day mourning the fact that reality has hit, it is time to embrace it.  I am thankful for a great vacation, for safety on our trip, and for family time.  Now it is my turn to be thankful for a cool house to come home to, a job which surrounds me with great colleagues and an avenue for ministry, and the ability and desire to care for my family. 

Here's to looking forward to the rest of the summer.

Day 12

After a final long day of travel, we are home. 

The suitcases are unpacked, and the laundry is piled high.

It really is true, it is much easier to come home when the house is clean.

Here are a few random "Trip Wrap-Up" facts and thoughts....

1.  It is illegal to pump your own fuel in Oregon.  This took awhile to get used to.  Actually, I am not sure my husband ever got used to it.  I could see some huge advantages to this (snow, rain, wind....), but it is not fantastic when you are in a big hurry.

2. Speaking of hurry, we may be able to learn a thing or two from the people in Oregon.  The fuel thing might work there because it honestly does not seem like people in Oregon are in near as huge of a hurry as the rest of the world, especially when it comes to driving.  Although not perfect, they are in general more cautious than anywhere else we went.  The 55 mph speed limits on highways were definitely new and different.

3.  If I hear "Can we go to a gift shop?" or "Can we buy something here?" from my little guy one more time, I may just explode.  The boy is obsessed.  I will say, however, that when he gets something new, it does typically entertain him quite well -- at least for 12 hours.

4.  The funniest quote from the whole trip is still up for debate.  For awhile it was the "Are these guys all dead?" comment at Mount Rushmore.  However, yesterday afternoon, after driving a collective 58ish hours, we crossed back over the KS state line.  After I said, "We're back in Kansas, boys.", the little guy piped up, "We're not in Oregon anymore?!? Shoot."

5.  Finally, this trip was definitely a lesson in geography for all of us.  Not traveling much as a kid, I had no idea (beyond textbooks and virtual pictures) what we would see past Colorado.  Needless to say, God must like variety, and He did a pretty good job of sharing it with us.  Imagine that.