I have a new boss at work. He's a Type A, forward thinking kind of guy. I'm OK with that, I'm fairly Type A myself. However, this week he asked me what I want to do next year. NEXT YEAR? It's only September!
I took a moment to enlighten him about my "grass is always greener" complex, and told him that right now might not be the best time to ask me what I want to do next year. To say that working full-time and taking classes has been a bit overwhelming is a major understatement.
I didn't tell him that if I had to decide right now, there is a good chance that I would choose the couch, bon-bons, and a really good book.
This sounds terrible, but the thought of staying at home while my kids are at school........well, it sounds like a little piece of heaven right now.
The other day I walked into a friend's house in the middle of the week and it was perfectly clean. Granted, they just moved in a month ago, but I asked her if her house really looks like that all the time. I nearly fell over when she admitted that, yes, she really tries to keep it consistently looking that nice. Again.....another little piece of heaven.
The question for me, though, is how long would it really last? I'm not talking about the clean house; I already know that answer.
How long would I be content not being submersed in the field of education? My track record for staying away from it is really not so great.
How long before I would be wondering why I was sitting at home when both of my kids were in school? How long before I would be wishing that I was there with them?
Honestly, it just makes my head hurt.
Balance. What I really need is balance. It is the answer that I am looking for, I just haven't quite figured out how to make it reality.
I'm a little nervous that I am going to wake up one morning with an 18 year old ready to go off to college, and I am still going to be trying to figure it out. And that I'll look back and realize that all those years of trying to find balance just landed me with years of regret.
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