Gardening....Novice?

Is there a word for being worse than a novice?  Rookie?  Newbie?  Infant?

'Cause if there is, that's me.

Remember my black thumb?  It has not gotten any better over the last three years.

However, if you drive by my house, you would think I am a MAJOR gardener. 

This is garden #1 -- Potatoes, peas, onions, lettuce, carrots, spinach, and strawberries

Here's #2 -- Poppyseed, watermelon, cantaloupe

And here's #3 -- Corn and unsuccessful poppyseed

Insane, I know.  

Here's the thing.  They are not all mine.

They are not even half mine.  My in-laws live in town and want way more garden space than they have.  Since they practically gave us the land we live on, we graciously said it would be fine for them to have a garden at our place.  One garden turned into two....which turned into three.  In a couple years we may not even have to mow. 

I am experimenting with this thing called gardening in garden #1. I read and researched, and then we planted.

And when I say "we", I mean that my father-in-law put the seeds in his little planter and drove it up and down the rows.  My five year old "helped" by demanding to push the planter with grandpa, causing grandpa to do this crazy walk -- side-step -- run thing down the rows with my son.  I stood there and watched.  It was a beautiful bonding moment.

This has been a terrible year to try to figure out how in the world to grow stuff.  We have had virtually no rain, lots of hot days, and crazy amounts of wind. 

I would have license to complain, except that every time I go out to check on things, my father-in-law has already watered the garden and tilled the rows. 

So in all my studying up on this subject, my best advice is to offer garden space to the in-laws.  Odds are there will be a built-in gardener in the package deal.