Reflecting on the Day

Today I went Christmas shopping from 8:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law. And four children - ages 5, 3, 1, and 1. I'll pause for a moment of silence to let you process the insanity of that. I knew that, for me, this wasn't going to be a day of great shopping accomplishment, but instead just time spent with family. I was right -- I think I bought a grand total of two presents.

Here was the most enlightening part of my day.

I'll call it "Tales from the Bathroom".

My 3 year old nephew decided he had to...umm...in his terminology, "go poop".

I got bathroom duty since I was the only one not buying any gifts. My 5 year old son came along for, I don't know, pooping company. We made it to the bathroom in time and got the three year old settled. The power of suggestion must have overwhelmed my 5 year old, because after about 43 seconds in the bathroom, he decided he needed to go too.

At this point I was wishing for a soft recliner and a good book because my son takes FOREVER to complete this task. He is a true man -- multiplied by 100. Of course they picked WalMart for nature to call. Couldn't have been Dillards, where the bathrooms are relatively usable. At least the conversation was lively.

3 year old: I got new underwear. Look at these. I got lots of new underwear.

5 year old: Here comes the first one. Yep, I just heard it plop in there.

3 year old: (Grunt, grunt).

5 year old: Here comes some more.

3 year old: Me too!

5 year old: I'm trying for more, but it's just not here yet.

3 year old: (More grunting.)

5 year old: Now I just have to wait to see if I'm done.

3 year old: Done. Come see this.

5 year old: I can't. I feel like more is coming and I try, but I just can't get it...

These boys obviously feel very comfortable with each other. I was thanking the Lord that the bathroom was empty and begging Him to not allow any people to walk through the door.

I'll spare you the last 10 minutes of this saga, because it sure didn't get any better. By the time we left the facility, my family had nearly called the missing children hotline.

That's okay. I was getting good at pretending they didn't belong to me.

12 days. Only 12 more. I am counting down each precious day until my kid-free shopping trip.