Rambling...Again

I have not had a fabulous weekend.

It has not been horrible....just somewhere between blah and yuck.  I am hoping this post will be a bit like therapy.

I'm not feeling that great.  It is very possible that is due to a very unhealthy diet and next to no exercise -- two things I am in complete control of and yet I haven't fixed. 

Or it could be due to stress.  Textbooks to read, papers to write, researching a new diagnosis, reports to complete for work, trying to keep up at home, etc., etc., etc.  Same story, chapter 252.

It's also possible it is because I stayed up just a tad too late last night reading a book.  Just for fun. 

Regardless, I am having a hard time being civil today.  My 9 year old got a new retainer yesterday.  At first I was happy that it wasn't cemented into his mouth.  Now I just wish someone would super glue that sucker in.  This kid is freaked out about everything related to teeth.  He hates wiggling teeth, pulling teeth, cleaning teeth - you name it, it's an issue.  He is not handling it well.  I am not handling him well.

My 6 year old went back to the doctor on Thursday for a PANDAS check-up.  Overall, the theory is that he is doing 'better'.  He is clearing his throat much less than he was 2 weeks ago.  However, this week he started a new tic.  At least we think that is what it is.  He scrunches his nose up over and over and over, like his nose itches. 

This one is easier to deal with.  It is quieter, not distracting to others, and is almost even cute at times....except for the fact that it is NEW.  That simple fact leads my brain down a one way street to panic.  What's next? How bad will it get?  He's on antibiotics, isn't he supposed to be getting better?

In 20 short minutes, I just realized my issue.  I am totally ignoring all of the things that I have some semblance of control over, and completely obsessing about everything that I can do nothing about. 

Not smart.

Or helpful. 

Or beneficial for anything or anyone.

I wonder what I'll do about it.