I Have No Idea What To Call This One

You know your life is boring when you resort to posting about the junk drawers.

But, holy moly, this family needs therapy.

The great junk drawer clean-out began because of a little story...

Once upon a time, there was a family with three vehicles.  The newest vehicle was primarily driven by the wife, while the very old, smashed, ugly vehicle was driven by the husband.  The truck typically sat in the garage because the ugly vehicle got better gas mileage.

Dear husband had keys for all three vehicles.  Dear wife had keys for only the truck and the newest vehicle.  Why, you may ask? That answer is unknown.  The key ran away over two years ago.

This had not posed a problem for months and months because the wife rarely drove the old, ugly car. However, one day last month, the husband took the newest vehicle because the wife was home with a sick kid.  When it was time to go pick up the youngest child, the wife headed out to the garage.  She then remembered that "her car" had been taken by her husband.  "No problem," thought the wife, "I will just take the truck."  However, when she opened the garage door, she noticed a slight problem.  The old, ugly car was parked right in front of the garage door, blocking her way out.

Thinking her son might have to walk the six miles home from school, she called her father and sent grandpa to rescue her poor son from school. Grandpa was shaking his head at the drama, but happily brought his grandson home.

The family lived happily ever after.

UNTIL...

Not even four weeks later, the EXACT.SAME.THING happened again.

Completely humiliated, the wife this time called her mother-in-law to rescue her son.

That, my friends, served as the catalyst for the great key hunt.  It looked something like this.

 

Yes, that is my child in the corner of the picture carving a stick with a pocket knife. 

Don't ask. 

I cannot even believe the stuff crammed into these two drawers. I will not bore you with a complete list of contents, but here are the highlights.
63 pens
95 pencils....at least 89 need sharpened
4 fingernail clippers
23 batteries...1 totally corroded
9 erasers
4 calculators
A gazillion paper clips
A trazillion rubber bands
Nerf darts
A Kohl's discount card from May of 2012
A Best Buy receipt from 2008
12 Screwdrivers
Yes, 12. 
 
Proof. 

For those of you who counted, one didn't make the picture.

There has to be some kind of sickness related to this. It took me at least three hours to go through all the junk.

I blame it on the kids. 

I was 99.9% sure this organizational marathon would not produce the desired results.

I love it when I am wrong.

Life is good.